i pity you.

i trusted you. and you saw me as a sitting duck.

it's been a fun run, but i think it's best for me to break-away and move on.

i've given you more than enough chances to redeem yourself. to rebuild our friendship. and each time, you fail me. i'm not about to turn myself into a martyr for your sake.

i'm sorry. for you. you don't seem to value the trust i've given you, nor our camaraderie. i think it would be stupid for me to believe otherwise. life has got you jaded. i've tried countless times to help you, make you see through the overcast skies, and it hurts that you mock me. it's tough, and tiring to stay positive with you. you have, once again, become my emotional vampire.

life has treated you unfairly, i understand. but, you shouldn't drag me, or other people who love you into your misery so you can go on and make believe that you are 'happy'. i see through your facade. and i've known you long enough. it's time for both of us to move on.

i see things better now. and i will proceed through life with caution. i hope you do the same.

as we cross paths one last time, after, i'll move on with mine..
though i can't say that i wish you well, neither do i wish you ill.

i'll just let you be.

i loved you. i'm sorry.
good bye.

*good vibes*

"Look around you. Look at the influences you surround yourself with everyday. This is the pallete that colors you.

Love a man who sees you as a beautiful woman and you will grow old beautifully. Love a man who sees you as old and fat and that is what you'll be someday. Your environment changes you in profound ways. So, if you do not like how a place and a person makes you feel, if it is not in tune with your internal goals and aspirations, leave. Find the place and the people that supports the traits you want to nurture and be there, be among them.

Our choice lies in what we allow our destinies to be"

*taken from cecile's blog: www.ceciliabeltran.com

this is exactly why i'm so picky: i only need good vibes!

*about people: i've picked the scales off my eyes. since being able to see clearly, i am quietly screening and purposely getting rid of those who are eternally negative.. though it hurts that i have to pick and peel the leeches (that i apparently have gotten accustomed to) off me, i know it'll actually do me good,and prove to be a healthier life choice.

*of my environment: i naturally gravitate towards the happily positive. (no, jaded is a different one altogether) towards those who can be open and aware about everything that is happening around them. yes, there will always be some form of negativity everywhere, but if i see that it can stay optimistic in a sea of negativity? by gee, there i'll be!

*about myself: changes abound. paradigms shift. goals are refined.. and i have had only one constant.. i'm glad to have met my constant in miyako. my love, my hiding place. he knows of my strengths and weaknesses, my wants and my needs. he can anticipate what i'm craving for, what i'm frustratingly trying to express, even without me having to explain myself. he raises me up when i'm down, and constantly peppers me with praise when i'm feeling all begrudgy.. *sigh* i hope i'm giving him due justice by being the same to him!

hay naku: i love my miyako nga.
he's my positive vibe.